Jaded.

Sick of work. "To provide Singaporeans with the most meaningful and enjoyable NDP 05 experience". What a niche statement. What an aim. What a motivative quote. Dexter Teo was saying "When things seem to go wrong, look at this banner and this quote. This will be the motivation for all of us to push on." Load of crap.

Previous week, I felt so lost, so helpless. Kangwei was on overseas leave and I was left to handle all the shit remaning. Well, I tried my best to sort out all the "stunts" that came along the recent changes in plans. However, there just seem too much of an info gap for me to handle and that I wasnt in the loop of almost everything. There was almost nothing I could do because - I wasnt of that payscale - OR - I wasnt told of anything (even when I tried to ask...). I was glad that I had dinner with Ron on thursday. A nice exchange of conversation, felt much better. Thanx General Ron...

Now, KW is back... I emailed him an update of the situation of state in the early afternoon, and I recieved a call from him. He threw me things to do again... Things which are more of HIS payscale. What does a silly ONE-BAR idiot represents? DIRT! asking a ONE-BAR to talk to a CRAB who is notorious of playing tai-chi? I give up. The most, I will just send a mail and thats it. I give up. Mai zo liao!...

Just came home... felt like DIRT. Lost. uncertainty hangs over me... Oh no... wonder how am I going to clear my driving lessons tomorrow. Kinda lost my motivation to learn driving for a moment...

Think I am losing myself... I should just not be "TOO myself"... Looking back, what had actually happened in the past months? I wonder... perhaps I should start jotting down stuff...

Cheers